I will be brave
by ovenbird
Summary: "Neville... your face... it's all bloody." How does Neville explain to everyone what just happened?  Follows Neville after the Department of Mysteries.  Please R&R!


**Disclaimer: I, of course, own nothing. Alas.**

Neville stood off to the side of the Hospital Wing in a slight daze, eyes staring off, unfocused. His body ached all over from the cruciatus curse cast on him by the wretched Bellatrix Lestrange. There was blood caked on his face, hands, and school robe from his broken nose. He held in his hand Hermione's wand, now also a bit bloody. Neville fingered the wood, noting how different, how foreign, it felt in his hands. His wand was lost somewhere in the depths of the Department of Mysteries… probably no one would ever find it… and so one the most important items he had to remember his parents by was gone. His father's wand was broken and lost.

He was woken out of his daze when Madam Pomphrey bustled over. "Mr. Longbottom, I'm afraid you will have to wait a smidge longer. Ms. Weasley, over here please," she hurried a pale, limping Ginny to a bed and jabbed a potion into her hands. "I'm sorry, Mr. Longbottom, my stores just aren't prepared for this. If you could just wait a little longer," and she was already gone to check back in on Ron and Hermione, both of whom had sustained the worst injuries of the lot.

Whatever curse Dolohov had hit Hermione with seemed to be a pretty serious one. And Ron… well he outwardly looked really bad with all the welts from the strange flying brains. Neville suddenly wondered why in the world there were even such things as strange flying brains that attacked people. Whoever thought that was a good idea?

Neville sighed and finally sat down on one of the beds. Madam Pomfrey bustled about, as did Professor Snape. _Strange,_ thought Neville, _I never noticed him enter._ Professor Snape was focusing a great deal on Hermione, forcing several different potions down her throat. He was worried, remembering only an hour before when he and Harry had thought Hermione was dead. _Dead!_ Neville shivered at the memory and looked down at Hermione's wand.

It seemed like hours before Madam Pomfrey walked over to Neville.

"Here you are, Mr. Longbottom. Drink this, it'll heal your nose right up normal, as if nothing ever happened. And this one here, yes, the blue one, it'll heal up all that bruising you've got. Is there anything else wrong with you? No? Then you should head back to your dormitory, right after you drink those up, and get a good night's rest."

"H-how," Neville cleared his scratchy throat. "How are they?" He motioned towards Ron and Hermione.

"They will be alright," Madam Pomfrey gave a tired sigh. "It is downright lucky Professor Snape was available. Certainly saved a lot of time and pain for Ms. Granger. Now head off," she said, coming back to her senses. "You drank that potion? Good, now go off and rest."

She hastily shooed Neville out of the Hospital Wing and closed the door behind him. Neville stood in place for a few seconds and then slowly started walking down the steps and towards the Gryffindor Tower. He was in such a daze that his feet automatically carried him to his destination, even remembering to skip the false stair on his way. Neville muttered the password and stepped into the Gryffindor Tower.

As he stepped in all the talking died off and everyone stared at him. He half heartedly notice the terrified, shocked, faces looking at him.

"So it's true!" someone said.

"What happened? We were all told to stay in our dorms but you, Harry, Ron, Hermione, and Ginny weren't here! Where… what…?" Seamus' voice died off, unwilling to voice any actually question.

Neville looked around him. How could he tell them all that had happened? How could he put into words what the last few hours meant to him, his friends, and the entire wizarding world?

"Neville… your face…it's all bloody."

The only thing Neville could think to say was; "I … I got kicked in the face…"

There was silence. And then, "Was this Umbridge's doing? Did she and her stupid Slytherin cronies corner you? I swear! I'm going to go and tell that woman a piece of my mind and then when I do I'm going to rip-"

Seamus' red-faced rant was cut short by Padma's question, "Where's Harry?" Neville looked at all the faces staring at him. _Is this what Harry feels like all the time? Constantly being stared at and questioned?_ "Where's Ron? And Hermione… and Ginny?"

Neville was beginning to feel exhausted and uncomfortable with all this scrutiny and attention. He swallowed a lump in his throat. "Uh… hospital wing. I, uh… we, uh…" everyone was waiting for a reply, waiting to hear what had happened and why they were forced to their house without an explanation. But they weren't prepared to hear that it wasn't due to the harassment of Umbridge, or even a rogue troll. How could he tell them that it was far more serious than they could possibly realize? "We went to try," … _yes, but we failed_… "to, uh… rescue someone, but… Death Eaters and Be-b… her." Neville couldn't get that wretched woman's name through the lump in his throat. But it didn't matter, already students were gasping and whispering about Death Eaters.

"I-I've gotta go." Neville quickly excused himself and walked up the stairs to the boy's dormitory, not without noticing some of the skeptical glances directed at him. His legs moved slowly and stiffly. He set Hermione's wand on his bedside table along with the vials from Madam Pomfrey. Both vials were full. _I must have forgotten to take them before leaving the Hospital Wing._ He walked into the bathroom and was about to walk straight to the shower when he caught his reflection in the mirror.

"Oh my, it's not Halloween, dearie! You should wash your face," the mirror quipped.

His face was an absolute mess. Blood was smeared from his nose across his mouth and cheeks and had dripped, quite a bit, onto his robes. His eyes had bruises forming around them. He looked closely at his nose – yes, it was ever so slightly crooked. He reached up and touch the crooked part. A jab of pain greeted him in turn. A reminder.

A reminder.

XxxxxxxxxX

Neville and Harry wandered up the stairs towards the Hospital Wing.

The night before, Harry had returned to the Gryffindor Tower well after Neville had tidied himself up. He hadn't bothered Harry at all, assuming that everyone else in the Common Room probably had. Harry was in a foul mood, ranting about Dumbledore and then suddenly crying over the death of his Godfather and the fact that he had endangered his friends' lives, and then becoming angry again. Neville had been unsure how to comfort Harry, so instead tried to offer a few words of encouragement, telling Harry that Ron and Hermione were doing okay.

At breakfast there was a lot of staring and whispering from the entire Hall. The entire Gryffindor table had skillfully managed to isolate Harry and Neville with at least a couple feet of empty space. Not that Neville minded; he couldn't hear the whispering quite as well. The two boys had quickly finished breakfast, taking a few pieces of toast with them, and fled the Great Hall to visit their friends.

They silently reached the hospital wing and were met by a smiling Madam Pomfrey.

"Ah, I thought I might see you bright and early. Your friends are doing quite well, there is no need to fret." Neville noticed Harry's shoulders relax somewhat at the welcome information.

"Thank you, can we…?"

"Yes, dears. But do not wake them; they need their sleep." The two boys wandered over to the two dosing figures of Ron and Hermione. Hermione appeared to be sleeping quite peacefully, as if nothing were wrong. The only indication of harm were the multitude of empty vials and flasks beside her bed. Ron, on the other hand, looked much worse for wear. His welts had decreased in size and number, but it was still slightly revolting to look upon him.

Neville finally drew Hermione's wand out of his pocket and placed it on her bedside table. He sighed. "I feel so naked and vulnerable without a wand, Harry." Harry looked up, seemingly startled at Neville's honest statement. Neville simply shrugged in response. "It's true."

There was a bit of silence before Harry said, still looking at his two sleeping friends, "You and me, Neville, we see to have shared a similar past. Voldemort orphaned me because of a stupid prophecy and you, in turn, were orphaned by his crazy Death Eaters. It could have been you, you know."

"What could have been me?"

Harry gave Neville a strange look, one that Neville didn't know how to interpret. "Nothing, don't worry about it, mate."

Neville shrugged and reached up to rub his nose, immediately regretting it. The previous night he never took the bone/cartilage healing potion choosing, instead, to wear his broken nose as a reminder to what could have been and what was beginning to be. But at this moment he regretted it, for when his fingers brushed across his nose it hurt like bloody hell.

XxxxxxxxxxX

Neville watched, his heart breaking, as his parents, completely unaware of themselves or him, pulled leaves off the regenerating plant he had gotten them for Christmas.

"Mum, Dad, I did a very reckless thing this year with my friends." His parents did not look up from their game. "We flew to the Ministry on Thestrels and we fought Death Eaters. You see, earlier this year some of them escaped from Azkaban because He-who-must-not-be-named has returned. She was there, Mum, Dad, at the Ministry, waiting for us. I fought her. Or, at least, I tried to. I understand now how you left me. When I was under the cruciatus curse all I could think of was escape and how much pain you must have been experiencing. A small part of my mind pleaded with me to retreat into myself to protect myself from all the pain. But then I thought of you and Gran and how much I wanted to prove myself to you. I wanted to show you that I can be brave like you. And thinking of you distracted me from how much it hurt."

Neville frowned in frustration as tears started welling up in his eyes. "I will be brave for you. I will be brave for you, Mum and Dad, and I will be brave for Gran. I know now that I can."

He heard the door to the room open and the distinctive clicking of his Gran's heals walking towards him. He looked down at his lap, trying to hide his watery vision, at his hands which were holding his new wand. This new wand comforted him; he could feel the magic from it.

"I will be brave for you."

**Thanks for reading! Please review, if you would. This is my first fic, so I'd love to know what you thought and if you think I should take it anywhere. I have no plans for it, but if you have thoughts, let me know! : )**


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